


Memento Vivus

by yearbookcrush



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Also somehow contains Persona 5 Spoilers, Elizabeth can summon premade diagrams for some reason, Longterm Project, Male Protagonist, Minato has issues and he's a snark lord because of said issues, Multi, Peggy Sue Fic, Persona 3 Spoilers, Rating will probably change, Retcon, Tags will change as it updates, female protag is male protag's younger sister, female protag's name is hamuko, male protag's name is minato, timeline reset, updates every 2 months
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 20:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9201731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yearbookcrush/pseuds/yearbookcrush
Summary: I had too many regrets to count. For one thing, I had a bad feeling about Ikutsuki from the beginning. Maybe I could expose him before November, maybe I could save Mitsuru's father. Maybe I could stand up for Fuuka when the other girls were bullying her. Maybe I could help reconcile things between Ken and Shinjiro…There were too many maybes. Too many people who suffered. Too many people I couldn't help. I was a pathetic excuse for a leader, but this was my chance to right my wrongs.“I want to redo it. All of it.” I said.________________________________18 years after the events of Persona 3, Elizabeth has found a way to defeat Erebus for good. The only problem is that it comes with a heavy price.What is this price?The lives of four people.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Persona 3 helped me in many ways. It helped me pull myself out of a massive episode of depression circa November of 2015, it was pretty much the only thing that could keep me emotionally stable in the weeks leading up to and following the 2016 election (I hate living in America, by the way), and all around has been nothing but a positive force in my life. I wanted to give back to the community in a way, and I also wanted to write something that will follow me through my last 2 years of high school, all of college, and my first year or so as an independent adult. This story it going to be long, and I hope you stick with me to the end.
> 
> 100,000 planned words.  
> 30 planned chapters.  
> 8 years.
> 
> Let's do this shit.

The first thing I saw was a haze of swirling blues and grays, spotted with the occasional smudge of black or gold. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what the **hell** was going on, but I definitely wasn't on The Seal anymore. Either something went horribly, terribly wrong, or something went horribly, terribly right.

 

 

Both options were less than ideal.

 

 

I coughed and gasped for air. Was this what breathing felt like? It was worse than I remember. I've had a body made of solid cosmic door material, for lack of a better term, for an unknown amount of time. Bodily functions are foreign to me now.

 

 

...And then a familiar voice cut my thoughts short.

 

 

“ _Welcome back, young man! It's been quite a while since I last saw you. The night of January 31st, the Gregorian year of 2009, to be specific, was the date of our last meeting.”_

 

 

It was Igor, thank god. Of all the swirling blue vortexes I could have fallen into, I got lucky enough to get chucked into the Velvet Room.

 

 

“I wasn't sure if his physical form would even re-manifest itself, and it did so perfectly! I worried he would come back as a deformed monstrosity, but you managed to come back perfectly! My, even your hair is dyed the correct shade of blue!” Elizabeth chirped. I should have expected she'd be here too.

 

 

“It's quite a feat you managed to pull off, Elizabeth, even if it is just the beginning of your plan.” Igor replied.

 

 

I heard the creak of what I assumed to be a metal door. A sudden gust of unnatural wind slid me off of whatever I was laying on before to a cold, stone floor. I groaned, pulling myself onto my feet. My vision was still blurry, but I could see the vague shape of Igor waiting at his desk.

 

 

“If your vision is currently impaired, try doing that funny thing humans do with their eyelids! _'Blinking'_ , I believe they call it?” Elizabeth shouted. I strained my eyes to blink, and they did so easier than I thought it would. Once my vision came into focus, I was slightly disturbed by my surroundings. Instead of the elevator-like Velvet Room I remember, I was in a round, stone-walled prison with cells dotted around the perimeter.

 

 

“I like what you've done with the place.” I croaked, cautiously walking towards the desk in the center of the room.

 

 

“It wasn't I who did this – it was our most recent guest. The Velvet Room reforms itself based on the current guest's psyche.” Igor replied. “But enough about that, Elizabeth has business with you.”

 

 

I gave a non-committal grunt and slumped into the chair facing Igor. He nodded to Elizabeth, who smiled and took a step forward, clearing her throat.

 

 

“I apologize in advance for the bombardment of information I'm going to subject you to.” She said, summoning a retractable display banner out of thin air. “...But this is of the utmost importance, I believe I have found a way to permanently destroy Erebus.”

 

 

Destroy Erebus? If I remembered correctly, that was impossible. I had to become the Great Seal so that there was a _vague chance_ that Nyx wouldn't keep coming back every single year. If I hadn't done that, it _wouldn't stop_ until it could succeed in bringing about The Fall. I cocked my head, giving Elizabeth a “what the hell are you on?” look. Elizabeth pulled down the banner, revealing a poorly-drawn diagram. It consisted of what appeared to be myself, Nyx, Erebus, and four other people.

 

 

“...Did you draw this?” I asked. I really hoped she didn't, it looked like crap.

 

 

“No, I didn't. I had Lavenza draw this for me, she's quite the budding artist!” Elizabeth replied. I nodded, albeit confused. Who the hell was “Lavenza”?

 

 

Elizabeth turned back to the display, pointing to the drawing of me.

 

 

“This is you. Your will was strong enough to form the Great Seal, which acted as a barricade between Erebus and Nyx.” She explained, shifting over to another figure.

 

 

“This is Erebus. He is the personification of humanity's negativity. Unfortunately, your will wasn't strong enough to permanently hold him back. I had to go on curb-stomp duty once a year to prevent him from breaking the Seal.” She continued. None of this was news to me. I wasn't 100% conscious while acting as the Seal, but I knew that someone was beating back Erebus.

 

 

“This is our most recent guest. Despite the fact that his journey had no connection to yours, he did manage to pull off an incredible feat. He destroyed Yaldabaoth. This led to a progressive weakening of humanity's desire for death. If my predictions are correct, if Erebus tries to call for Nyx again, she might not respond in the first place!” She said.

 

 

That...that was a stretch. A massive stretch. I was pretty sure that was impossible. If Erebus still existed, there wasn't a reason that Nyx wouldn't respond to his call.

 

 

“Are you sure this would actually...y'know...work?” I asked, monotone.

 

 

“If we don't intervene, no. Erebus may regain the power he lost if we wait too long.” Elizabeth answered.

 

 

“Then what are we supposed to do now?” I asked.

 

 

“That's where my plan to finish Erebus off for good comes in!” She chirped. “I did some research, and I believe if we give him one last beat-down, then instate a new Seal, he may stay dead!”

 

 

I gave another non-committal grunt. Where were we going to find a new seal? Were we going to sacrifice the guy who killed Yaldabaoth?

 

 

“I see you doubt me, but I've already found the way to pull this off.” Elizabeth said, pointing to the three other people on the diagram. “There are three people with a will almost as strong as yours. If we carve off a fourth of their will, then carve off a fourth of yours, we should be able to form a new Seal.”

 

 

Alright, this isn't as crazy as I thought it was. It's still pretty ridiculous, but she has a point…

 

 

“The downside is that all three of them died long ago.” Elizabeth sighed.

 

 

Nope, I'm wrong, it's a crazy pipe dream.

 

 

“...But there is yet a way to save them all. It will be hard, but it will pay off in the end.” Elizabeth added.

 

 

“How?” I asked, sitting up a bit straighter. Elizabeth sighed. I could tell the answer she had wasn't going to be a pretty one.

 

 

“The only way to save them, and to banish Erebus, is to relive your journey.” She replied, her voice tinged with an air of reluctance.

 

 

“Actually, that doesn't sound too bad. Maybe I could redo more...maybe I could save more people than the ones you want me to.” I said.

 

 

I had too many regrets to count. For one thing, I had a bad feeling about Ikutsuki from the beginning. Maybe I could expose him before November, maybe I could save Mitsuru's father. Maybe I could stand up for Fuuka when the other girls were bullying her. Maybe I could help reconcile things between Ken and Shinjiro…

 

 

There were too many maybes. Too many people who suffered. Too many people I couldn't help. I was a pathetic excuse for a leader, but this was my chance to right my wrongs.

 

 

“I want to redo it. _**All of it.**_ ” I said.

 

 

“I was hoping you'd agree. My Master and I will still be here to help you, and so will my siblings.” Elizabeth said, looking back up. “Are you ready for the rest of the plan?”

 

 

“Ready as I'll ever be.” I replied.

 

 

Elizabeth's briefing went on for what felt like hours. I'll spare you the wall of dialogue that would produce.

 

 

Number one; Elizabeth could revive the first two people. I had the responsibility of holding together the illusion that they had been alive the whole time. Elizabeth would give them false memories to hide the gaps between the date of their death and April of 2009.

 

 

Number two; the third person died during my year with SEES. I would have to find a way to prevent their death, but Elizabeth would call me to the Velvet Room for another briefing before the date of their death. All I know is that they were in the same class as Fuuka, and that their death was a murder.

 

 

Number three; I was to have my Wild Card ability stripped as “payment” for my redo. It's putting another metaphorical coin in the metaphorical claw game because you didn't get the metaphorical Jack Frost doll.

 

 

Number four; There are five other people that know about my original “journey”. I won't know who they are unless they confront me. I cannot try to find them, and I cannot tell anyone about my original journey until January. That's when the timeline will be stable enough for them to face the truth.

 

 

Number five, we're not going to fight Nyx on January 31st. We're going to fight Erebus. Yaldabaoth's death weakened Erebus so much that Nyx may not even hear his call. The most we're going to get is a sickly, dying Ryoji.

 

 

This is going to be a huge ordeal, but it's going to be worth it. I'm in this for the long haul, and I hope whoever's out there, reading this, is too.

 

 

**It's time to save the world _all over again._**


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minato’s journey begins again, and he finds that he personally knows the first person involved with Elizabeth’s plan a little more than he expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who has two thumbs and decided to pull a Beyoncé on my readers and release chapter 1 a month early in honor of Door Day? ME! THAT'S WHO!
> 
> ___________________________________
> 
> WARNING: This chapter contains semi-graphic depictions of violence, mentions of death, and a graphic depiction of a panic attack. If you feel like you can't cope with reading this update at this point in time, but still would like to read it, then bookmark this page for a later time when you can.

“ _ **Be on the lookout – the first of the four will be on the train with you when you wake up!”**_

 

Elizabeth's _w_ ords r _a_ ng in my mind as consciousness flickered back into my mind. So I needed to pay a _t_ tention to the ride into Iwatodai, huh? I was too used to zoning out on trains. Most of this was thanks to my MP3 player, but paying attention wasn't going to be too bad, right?

 

Turns out it, I didn't have to pay attention at all.

 

A hand manifested out of what I assumed to be nowhere and yanked one of my headphones off. What followed was the most obnoxious voice I had ever heard.

 

“ **HEY! GROUND** _ **C** _ **ONTROL TO MINATO, WE'RE GONNA MISS OUR STOP!”**

 

O _h_ god, this person was loud. I _hate_ loud people. I turned to face whoever this person was- the one who had the _gall_ to not only _pull off one of my headphones_ , but to _**shout in my ear.**_

 

...But found myself lost for words.

 

Elizabeth was right. This was _definitely_ someone who was dead in my original journey. If it weren't for her retaining her obnoxious habit of invading my personal space, I may have not recognized her.

 

“What do you think you're doing, Hamuko _?_ ” I asked.

 

My sister huffed, crossing her arms. She was so different now...I mean, she was fi _v_ e when I last saw her, the night our parents died on Moonlight Bridge. The thing that stuck out to me was her hair. She always struggled and fussed whenever our mother would try to put her hair up. Now it was in a neat, pinned-back ponytail. It was an out-of-character oversight by Elizabeth, but it was still amusing.

 

“We're going to miss our stop! I was trying to get your skinny ass moving before we ended up stranded on that man-made island in the bay!” Hamuko groaned, learning back on the bench. “It's the last train of the night, if we miss our stop, we're gonna be stuck there overnight...”

 

“Fine, let's get ready to get off if you're so jumpy.” I said, pulling my duffel bag off the seat next to me, approaching the nearest exit.

 

“Thank goddd...” Hamuko whined, following suit.

 

The train came to a stop, playing a tone before a mechanical voice called out our stop.

 

“ _ **Iwatodai. Iwatodai.”**_

 

I grabbed Hamuko by the arm, dragging her out of the train. If everything went right, Elizabeth knew that I experienced the Dark Hour every day from the day my parents died onward. She **should** have given Hamuko memories of it too. But, this was unlikely. I hate talking about my past. Elizabeth knowing something like that would only happen if she was one, a mind reader, or two, I told her about it and didn't remember. Both of these are possible because my memory is crap, and because Igor is the servant of an _elder god._ There's no reason he or Elizabeth _**wouldn't**_ be mind readers. Hamuko and I were only a few meters out of the train station when the sky took a nauseating, familiar shade of green. Following this was the whir of every electronic in the city shutting down.

 

My younger sister let out a scream of terror, stopping dead in her tracks. God fucking damn it, I had to explain the Dark Hour to my sister now.

 

“Listen, I know it's unsettling, but we have to keep going.” I said, tugging at her.

 

“W-what's...where are all the people? Why are there coffins everywhere?!” Hamuko croaked, shaking like a leaf.

 

“They're...they're _sleeping._ Don't worry.” I replied. “Come on, we have to make it to the dorm.”

 

Hamuko began walking again, albeit a slow, shaky pace. As we made our way through the deserted city, she'd whisper things like “is that blood?” or “I saw something move in that alley”. I kept myself to short answers, yeses or nos, or the occasional “you're seeing things”. Once we arrived at the dorm, I turned back to face her.

 

“Are you ready?” I asked, letting go of her hand and creaking the front door open.

 

“Y-you're making it sound like there's gonna be something in there...” Hamuko croaked, letting out a shaky, forced laugh.

 

“There isn't.” I replied, making my way inside. It wasn't long before I heard her making a mad dash up the dorm steps and slamming the door behind her, and falling to the floor.

 

Before I could speak to her, Hamuko let out another scream of horror, pointing to the space behind the front desk.

 

“YOU CAN SEE HIM, RIGHT?! I'M NOT CRAZY, AM I?!” She sobbed, crawling backwards on her hands.

 

“See who?” I asked.

 

“T-t-the kid! The kid in the...the fucking prison uniform!” She said, pointing back to the space behind the counter.

 

 _Oh no_. Oh _**FUCK**_ no. My stomach churned at her description. Please, for the love of all things holy, _do not_ let that be real. Of all the things I didn't need right now, Pharos was _at least_ in the top 10. I was sick of seeing that freaky little... _ **fetus Ryoji**_ halfway through my original journey, and he was _not_ supposed to be back. Hamuko stared into—what I saw as—nothingness, tears welling in her red eyes.

 

“C-contract? You want me to sign a contract? L-like the kind that'll turn me into a magical girl?” Hamuko scoffed, trying her hardest to compose herself. She stood up, taking shaky steps towards the counter. I tried to stop her, but she pushed me out of the way.

 

“Alright, I'll sign y-your stupid contract...” She said, picking up a pen from the cup on the counter to sign the invisible document. Why would Hamuko have to sign the contract? My Wild Card ability was stripped as "payment" for redoing my journey. Was she a Wild Card already, but nothing came of her power because she died?

 

“There! Are you happy?!” Hamuko barked, throwing the pen behind the counter.

 

The lights flickered on, startling Hamuko one last time before a familiar voice called from the stairs.

 

“ _WHO'S DOWN THERE?! I-I WON'T HESITATE!”_

 

Yukari. Of all the people who lived in the dorm, it was odd that _**her**_ voice brought me so much relief. We weren't exactly “friends” last time around-for the most part, we faked it for the sake of being teammates. I wasn't fond of her for how emotional she was, and she wasn't fond of me for being an “emotionless jerk”. I remember on a few occasions she even said she'd prefer that _**Junpei**_ be the leader of SEES, even though she hated that baseball-capped dork more than me.

 

“Your new dormmates, that's who.” I said, monotone as ever.

 

“...D-dormmates?” Yukari croaked, approaching my sister and I.

 

“Yeah. Sorry we got in so late, we had a long train ride.” I replied, holding my hand out for Yukari to shake. “I'm Arisato Minato. The girl's my sister.”

 

“Takeba Yukari.” She replied, cautiously shaking my hand. “Nobody told me we were getting new dormmates...but then again, I'm rarely kept in the loop.”

 

I turned to Hamuko, who was still rattled from her experience with Pharos, slinging one of her arms around my neck to help her upstairs.

 

“C'mon, you need some sleep.” I said to her, dragging her to the stairs. Apparently, wasn't keeping good enough track of where I was going, as I nearly slammed face-first into Mitsuru.

 

I stumbled, almost falling down the stairs. Hamuko let out a strangled squack, and Mitsuru gracefully stepped aside, unaffected. Yep, Mitsuru's herself. The timeline isn't _**too**_ fucked from Elizabeth resurrecting my dead sister.

 

“I-I'm sorry, my sister and I are both very tired.” I groaned, re-balancing myself. “You're Kirijo-san, right?”

 

“I am...you seem a bit impatient to get to your room, is everything alright?” She replied, looking me and Hamuko up and down.

 

“We're fine, we've had a long day.” I replied, keeping my head down.

 

“Alright. Your room is at the end of the hall to the right on the second floor. Hers is at the end of the hall to the left on the third floor.” Mitsuru replied.

 

I nodded, hauled Hamuko to the third floor. I practically had to _peel_ her off of me she was so clingy. She wobbly walked towards her room, dragging her bag behind her before turning back to say one last thing.

 

“D-do you think that kid's gonna come back?” She croaked, still rattled.

 

“Try not to think about it. If you think about it too much, it'll get worse.” I said.

 

“Says the guy who does _**nothing**_ but think about stuff too much...” Hamuko snorted, turning away from me and stumbling to her room.

* * *

The next morning I woke up early, cleaned myself up, and attempted to make breakfast. Reheated leftovers weren't the best, but it was better than nothing. I got so caught up in making myself food, I didn't notice Yukari enter the kitchen.

 

“After last night, I thought you'd still be asleep.” She said, startling me.

 

“I-I woke up around 5. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided t-to get a head start.” I muttered, trying to avoid eye contact with her. Yukari gave a non-committal grunt in reply, opening the fridge to see if she could find something for herself.

 

“...You nervous?” Yukari asked, trying her hardest to break the awkward silence.

 

“I guess.” I replied, still trying to remember how the hell the dorm's microwave worked.

 

“You _guess_?” Yukari snorted, turning to glare at me. I shrugged, preoccupied with attempting to heat up a bowl of miso soup.

 

The next hour was a painful mixture of Yukari trying to make small talk and attempting to get Hamuko up and ready for school.

* * *

 

I forgot how nice the train ride to school was. Hamuko seemed to like it too, judging by the way she buzzed around the train car like a little kid. Once we got to school, Yukari gave us a quick and dirty overview of where what classrooms were. To be honest, I kind of needed it. Even if you cut out my time as a door, the school could be still labyrinth-like outside of the Dark Hour.

 

Hamuko changed her shoes, running to join the rowdy flock of students looking for their class numbers. As I swapped my shoes as well and stepped out of the entry, Yukari tugged my sleeve.

 

“Hey, about last night…don't tell anyone what you saw, okay?” She said, looking side to side to make sure no one was listening in.

 

“I won't, I promise.” I replied. “...And I'll pass the memo on to my sister for you.”

 

“That'd be great.” Yukari said, sighing with relief. “Anyways, I'll see you later.”

 

As Yukari left, I noticed Hamuko jumping and waving, gesturing for me to come take a look at the board for myself. I complied, trying to (politely) get through the sea of teenagers as fast as I could.

 

“Look! We're in the same class!” Hamuko chirped, pointing to the roster for 2-F.

 

While I _**was**_ glad that I was in the same class as her, I now had to explain to Elizabeth that Hamuko was a year younger than me. Great, how was I supposed to cover this one up? Maybe I could say she skipped a grade and leave it at that…

 

“Looks like I'm going to be able to keep an eye on you after all.” I snorted, guiding her in the direction of the teacher's lounge so that we could meet with Ms. Toriumi.

 

Thanks to Yukari's blurb, I didn't embarrass myself or my younger sister by getting lost on the first day. I thought for a second that I was already off to a better start than last time as I approached the left hall. Nope, no more getting the hallways mixed up for me anymore!

 

…Okay, that might have been a stretch. _Especially_ after it turned out I went down the right hallway instead of the left one.

 

I guided myself and my sister to the correct route to reach the teacher's lounge. Like last time, my (or as I should say now, _**our**_ ) teacher approached us as soon as we entered the room.

 

“Are you two the new students? Arisato Minato and Arisato Hamuko. Both 11th grade, correct?” Ms Toriumi asked, attempting to read both of our files at the same time.

 

“Yes, that's us.” I replied, nodding.

 

“Wow, you've both lived in a lot of different places.” Ms. Toriumi continued, attempting to balance the files while flipping the pages. “Let's see...in 1 _9_ 99...that was what, 10 years ago? Your parents...”

 

“Passed away in a car accident. It's fine if you didn't read the file ahead of time, the beginning of a new school year _is_ a very busy time.” I said, trying to get the conversation over with as politely as possible.

 

“Thank you, it's rare that I meet a student who understands that.” She replied, closing the files and setting them on her desk “Anyways, I'm Ms. Toriumi, I teach Composition. Welcome to our school.”

 

“It's very nice to meet you, ma'am.” Hamuko and I said in tandem. Hamuko snorted after she realized we had replied in sync.

 

“Oh, by the way, I think you're our homeroom teacher! 2-F, right?” Hamuko asked. “I checked the class assignments as soon as we got here.”

 

“Yes, you're both in my class.” Ms. Toriumi affirmed. “...And the welcoming ceremony will be starting soon, I can take you both to the auditorium.”

* * *

 

School went by quicker than I thought it would. It almost felt like someone pressed a button, then boom, school was over. It wasn't until a familiar baseball-capped dork greeted me that I snapped out of automatic pilot.

 

“Sup dude!” He said, perky and in-your-face as ever. “How's it going?”

 

“I'm alright.” I replied. “And you are…?”

 

“I'm Iori _J_ unpei, nice to meet ya.” Junpei said.

 

“Nice to meet you too. I saw your name on the class roster.” I said, pretending that this _w_ as the first time I met _h_ im, and praying my acting wasn't _too_ bad.

 

“I know how hard it is being the new kid, so I thought I'd say 'hey'!” He replied. “See what a nice guy I am?”

 

Yukari approached Junpei and I from the front of the classroom, Hamuko following behind her.

 

“Hey, Yuka-tan!” Junpei chirped, waving to a clearly uninterested Yukari. “I didn't think we'd be in the same class again!”

 

“At it again? I swear, you'll talk to anyone who'll listen.” Yukari said, rolling her eyes. “Do you _ever_ think you might be bothering someone?”

 

“He's not bothering me.” I replied, blunt. Yukari _did_ have a point about Junpei. But, I had already decided-I was going to start early to help them get along better. No more bickering like an old married couple headed towards divorce on my watch.

 

“Looks like there's a first time for everything.” Yukari sighed. “...But it's kinda funny that we're all in the same homeroom.”

 

“Woo, spooky!” Hamuko snickered, making ghost-like hand movements. “Maybe it was _**FAAAATE**_!”

 

“Fate? Gimmie a break.” Yukari said, side-eyeing my sister. “But it's still kinda weird.”

 

“Yeah! Kinda like that rumor I heard that you and the new kids came to school together today!” Junpei replied. “Come on, someone's gotta gimmie me the dirt!”

 

“We live in the same dorm as her!” Hamuko snorted. “There's nothing worthy of a _5_ -star rumor i _n_ that.”

 

“Greaaat, it's the first day of school and people are already talking about so _m_ ething I did?” Yukari groaned, putting her face in her hands. “Now I'm worried...”

* * *

The following days went by as quick as the first. All I could think about was the fact that the days leading up until the first shadow attack were becoming fewer. I woke up on April 9th with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Knowing that I had to save not only Yukari and I's lives that night, but also my sister's. It didn't help that pun-lo _v_ ing bastard, Ikutsuki visited the da _y_ before.

 

School went by in a blur, I barely took in anything from class. As the day progressed, the anxiety began to consume me. It got to the point that I didn't even go to sleep that night. I walked in circles around my dorm room, aimless.

 

The second I felt the building shake, I shot out of my room, running for Hamuko's room on the third floor. I barely even had to think, it was almost as if my body was moving on its own. I pounded on her door so hard I thought my fist was going to break. It didn't even register in my mind when she flung the door open, throwing me onto the ground.

 

“W-what's going on?” Hamuko croaked, half asleep but concerned. “You were screaming bloody murder...i-is something happening?”

 

Oh great, I couldn't hear myself screaming. _**That's**_ always a good sign. I hauled myself off the floor and grabbed Hamuko by the wrist, dragging her up the stairs to the _4_ th floor.

 

The building shook again, harder than the first time.

 

“E-earthquake?!” Hamuko yelped, fully woken up at this point.

 

I tried to steady my breathing, but my lungs felt like they were burning. I wanted to calmly explain what was going on, but I _**just**_ _**fucking couldn't.**_

 

“N-no. Worse.” I managed to choke out, my throat feeling like coarse sandpaper.

 

“What the hell are you doing up here?!” I heard Yukari yell from the stairs, she had to be at least a floor and a half below us. I tightened my grip on Hamuko's wrist, leading her out of the _4_ th floor stairwell to the roof as Yukari yelled for us to stop.

 

The shadow wasn't there yet when we reached the roof, and it wasn't when Yukari caught up with us, either.

 

“What the _**hell**_ do you think you're doing?!” Yukari panted, her face red from anger.

 

She threw a hockey stick at Hamuko and a short, fake sword at me.

 

“I don't have time to explain o-or try to talk to you, b-but take those.” She added.

 

I picked up the sword, and Hamuko picked up the hockey stick as if it were a naginata. Whatever, I didn't care as long as she had a way to defend herself. She could hold her damn hockey stick how she wanted to.

 

The building shook a third time, harder than ever before, and the fear consuming me nearly made me throw up. I watched as a slimy black hand crept up the wall, another one following it, and another, until it had crawled onto the roof. Yukari stood in front of Hamuko and I, pulling out her evoker and muttering to herself over and over that she could do this. Hamuko let out a strangled shriek when Yukari put it to her head and put her finger on the trigger.

 

I saw the shadow's hand come for Yukari and shoved my sister out of the way so that she wouldn't get hit too. Yukari fell to the ground and her evoker skittered in front of me. I wasted no time picking it up and holding it to my head.

 

“ _ **DON'T!**_ ” Hamuko shrieked as I pulled the trigger.

 

A familiar silver glow grew behind me as Orpheus manifested himself for the first time after I got my second try. I am not going to fuck this up again, not if I have to die again. Not if it means I can save innocent people. Not if it means I can save the sister I barely knew before she was taken away from me _the same night my parents were_.

 

I fell to my knees and dropped Yukari's evoker. The burning in my lungs hadn't subsided, but watching as Orpheus killed the slimy, writhing shadow brought me the tiniest bit of comfort. Once it was finished off, it just...went back to normal. No Thanatos ripping Orpheus to shreds and crushing the Magician shadow itself, no me passing out from the sheer shock of the event. It...went silent. It was over, the first of many shadows that would appear on the full moon of each month.

 

It was that moment that the reality set in. I was doing this, I _**could**_ do this. That a second try wasn't just some bizarre plan Elizabeth cooked up that could theoretically tear the fabric of reality apart.

 

...And then, Yukari knocked me out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy March 5th everyone! I hope you enjoyed this surprise update.
> 
> ...Well, at least it's still March 5th where I am, only for an hour, but it's still March 5th.
> 
> EDIT: I was delerious when I posted this last night, so I forgot to mention that Chapter 2 will be posted on or around May 1st, 2017!


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamuko squealed with joy, reaching for the armband in the left briefcase. She was so giddy it seemed as if she had accepted a marriage proposal, not an offer to join a team dedicated to killing goop demons formed from human emotion with larger, tamed goop demons that came out of your head.
> 
> “I take it that's a yes?” Akihiko chuckled.
> 
> “Of course! Oh my god, this is so awesome! Minato, are you gonna join too?” She replied, turning to look at me with excitement in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the editing is crap, but I can't be arsed to edit.
> 
> Also, no, this fic isn't dead. I had a really massive depression relapse in May, a meds change in June, an emergency move in July, and started a new school in August. I'm so sorry I haven't updated, but chapter 3 is in the works. I swear. I'm gonna get back on the ball, and my new school is actually an art school that I'm going to for writing. I have 4 hours a day devoted entirely to writing, so expect lots more updates and a massive uptick in writing quality within the next few months.

The next thing I remember is waking up in the Velvet Room. It had changed back to the blue elevator I was familiar with. Fuck, did this mean I had ruined my chance? Had I failed less than a week into this?

 

“Oh, I don't have to summon you after all! I was hoping you'd find your way here while you slept!” Elizabeth said, patting the side of my face to make sure I was alert.

 

“Woohoo, it's a miracle.” I said, monotone. Didn't I go to the Velvet Room all the time when I was asleep?

 

“Not a miracle, but still impressive!” Elizabeth replied. “You didn't _intend_ to come here, and Yukari knocked you unconscious! The odds of you finding your way 'home', so to speak, were exactly 0.075!”

 

I rubbed the back of my head, which was still sore from Yukari knocking me out with...whatever the hell she used. While the Velvet Room had gone back to normal, something was...off. The clock's single hand wasn't spinning as fast, and it looked like the elevator was going down instead of up.

 

“What's up with the elevator?” I asked, leaning forward in my chair.

 

“The Velvet Room is reverting itself to the state it was at this moment during your original journey. You are the first guest of ours that has seen the Velvet Room in a period of transition!” Elizabeth replied.

 

While I did appreciate Elizabeth's explanation, I was still worried. How long I was going to be out in the real world after getting hit in the head with god knows what on the dorm roof? Did I even survive it in the first place?

“Igor, did you see what happened on the roof? I mean, you do watch me all the time.” I asked, turning to face him.

“Yes I did, young man.” Igor replied. “Don't worry, the injury you acquired was not fatal. It was merely a little bump on the head.”

“...And you won't be unconscious for long! You should wake up in about twelve to twenty-four hours.” Elizabeth added. Okay, looks like Elizabeth is a mind reader. Either that or she's just used to my chain of thought. She deserves some kind of award for putting up with me long enough to be able to answer my questions before I ask them. I swear, Elizabeth is either a saint or an elder god. Probably both.

I pondered for a second if I should ask Elizabeth about Hamuko. What would happen to her when Elizabeth severs her soul to form a “new” Seal. All her memory inconsistencies. The fact that Hamuko was somehow a second-year. How, by any law of this fucked up planet, Elizabeth had managed to bring my sister back from the dead. I guessed it would be for the best, that not knowing would eat me up inside. I cared about Hamuko too much to not know.

“Would asking you a few questions about my sister tear apart the fabric of reality?” I asked.

“Of course not! You can ask whatever you please in the Velvet Room. After all, you don't have much of a reason to come here anymore. The stripping of your ability to wield multiple Personas negated that.” Elizabeth replied.

“Her memory's kinda...weird. I mean, you couldn't have cross referenced it with me beforehand. I was kind of in recovery from being a door for an unknown amount of time.” I explained. “But there are a few major inconsistencies. For one thing, she's a year younger than me, and she ended up as a second year.”

Elizabeth's face turned from a helpful smile to hesitation and concern. She glanced at Igor, who nodded.

“He has faced his own death before, he has the will to face this. Besides, he has a right to know the fate of his sister.” Igor said, trying to ease his attendant.

Elizabeth took a deep breath, preparing herself.

“That fateful night on Moonlight Bridge, a faulty car lock saved your life, correct??” She asked. “...And it was a common occurrence for you and your sister to switch seats in your parents' car?”

I nodded, both of her statements were true. Hamuko liked to swap seats based on when and where we were going, and our parents' car did have a faulty lock. I didn't know about said faulty lock until I was in the hospital afterwards. According to the doctors, the car door popped open on impact and spit me out on the pavement of the bridge. I always found it ironic that a defect ended up saving my life instead of killing me.

“I assume you are also aware of the multiverse theory, correct?” Elizabeth added.

I nodded again. I could see where she was going, it was something I had thought about myself more than I'd like to admit. Elizabeth took another deep breath, and I could have sworn I saw tears welling in her eyes.

“In another universe, the faulty lock saved your sister's life, not yours.” She said. “...And Aigis sealed Death inside her instead.”

“We couldn't place you back into the same world you came out of. Because the Velvet Room exists between mind and matter, so Elizabeth was able to place your conscious into the body of your formerly deceased counterpart.” Igor explained.

Well, looks like this just got way more complicated than it should be. At least I'm as dead on the outside as I am on the inside now, I guess?

“How does that work in the first place?” I asked. “Did I not die on impact?”

“Exactly, my dear boy! In this world, you perished from blood loss because the you didn't receive medical care.” Igor said. “Elizabeth intervened, and thus, here you are.”

Wonderful. I now knew the gory details of how I died in a potential other life. Now I get to ask about why Elizabeth knows absolutely nothing about how the Japanese school system works.

“Another question I had...this is more for Elizabeth, but why is Hamuko a second year?” I asked. “She was...I mean, IS, my younger sister. Shouldn't she be a first year?”

“That was something I meant on discussing with you! You see, as a consequence of your sister surviving the car accident, her life played out as it would have had she not perished. In this situation, one of the first foster homes the two of you entered in enrolled her in the same school year as yourself. They assumed that she was your twin without checking the facts. It seems the assumption that Hamuko is your twin sister is firmly ingrained in the collective unconscious. Since this happened so early on it, as humans say, 'stuck' to her.” Elizabeth explained. “I find this error fascinating, as no one had picked up on it, even ten long years later!”

Yep, that sounds like the foster care system all right. Not working out issues because they didn't want to actually do their job.

“...And in addition, if Hamuko ever mentions anything about the past that does not line up with your experiences, please do not point this out to her.” Elizabeth added.

“I know that's the part that'll tear the fabric of the universe apart, Elizabeth. You told me last time.” I asked.

“No, it will not destroy the universe, but it could cause her to enter a dissociative state. It would be comparable to what you refer to as 'Apathy Syndrome'. I will reiterate what I told you last time. All will be safe for you to reveal the truth to your partners after the date of January 1st, in the Gregorian year of 2010.” Igor said.

Okay, so I have to internalize pretty much everything to do with this. It shouldn't be that hard. I already manage to somehow seem cool and collected to everyone I meet in my daily life while being a seething ball of raw emotion on the inside. Not much deviation from my normal life, I could handle this. It's only a different set of people I have to put on a mask in front of now.

“With that out of the way, you are now free to return to the waking world, young man.” Igor said, snapping his fingers. “We will call you again on the 25th of May. Please remember our appointment."

The Velvet Room turned into a black and blue blur again as I regained consciousness.

I awoke to sunlight streaming in on my face from the opened slats of a hospital room's blinds, birds cheerfully chirping outside.“Okay, so I'm still alive.” I thought, my eyes adjusting to the brightness.

“You're awake.” Mitsuru's voice said from the foot of the bed. “How are you feeling? You had quite a night.”

Grilling me for details within 30 seconds of me waking up? Yep, that's the Mitsuru I know. If Mitsuru is in-balance, it's safe to say the rest of the world is okay as well.

“...Like I did something really stupid on the dorm roof, and you're prepping me before the cops come and question me?” I groaned, sitting up. "Did I take off my clothes and scream that I was a turkey?"

“Trying to make light of this, I see. A sense of humor is a good thing to have, especially in the face of the unknown.” Mitsuru replied. “But no, you didn't strip nude and claim to be a turkey.”

That would be a profound comment, but Shadows aren't “the unknown” to me. I know them much better than I'd like to.

“Is my sister okay?” I asked, propping myself on my elbows.

“Physically, yes, mentally...” Mitsuru replied, trailing off. “She's rattled. Last night took a toll on her, and she's resting now. Once she wakes up, you should both be free to go.”

I nodded, rubbing my eyes.

“...But I _**do**_ find it peculiar that you knew that shooting yourself with the model gun you took for Takeba-san wouldn't kill you.” She added.

Well, fuck. I should have expected this, I mean you can't really get away with anything suspicious with Mitsuru around...unless you're Ikutsuki. I had been trying to remind myself at every turn that I wasn't the trusted leader of S.E.E.S. I left my former life as. I was the snippy, cold, somewhat intimidating transfer student again. She never asked me about it the first time, but I guess the first time it wasn't obvious I knew what I was doing. If anything, the first time around, she thought that I thought Yukari's evoker was a real gun, and I was trying to kill myself to avoid a worse death.

There was in fact a reason I tried to use Yukari's evoker the first time. Sure, it was embarassing. It was half praying that my crackpot theory would work. The other half was me thinking “ _well if my crackpot theory is wrong and this IS a real gun, at least I won't die a shameful death”._ Now I have to use that explanation to not rip apart the fabric of the universe. Fuck my life.

“I read about it online.” I groaned.

“You what?” Mitsuru said with a hint of disbelief in her voice.

Oh dear god this is going to be embarrassing. One of my deepest, darkest secrets that no one knew about the first time. Now I get to reveal it to Mitsuru fucking Kirijo less than a week in. Hooray for my dumb ass.

“Feel free to laugh, but...I'm a conspiracy theorist.” I replied, avoiding eye contact. There, I said it. At least Mitsuru won't give me shit for it like Yukari or Shinjiro would.

Mitsuru blinked, even more confused than she had been before.

“A...conspiracy theorist? You legitimately believe the things that people say on the internet?” She asked, bewildered. “I never thought I'd meet someone like you in person.”

“You probably have, but they were too ashamed to admit it. I only told you because I had to.” I replied.

Mitsuru knit her eyebrows, muttering to herself about leaks and classified documents.

“There's been talk online about a phenomenon called the Dark Hour. People say that there are companies out there trying to figure it out. One consistent rumor on 2chan is that the Kirijo Group has been developing weapons for some purpose connected to it. They say that they look like guns, but actually aren't.” I added. “I'd tell you where they found that information, but the sources are always shaky, and threads like that get shot down quickly.”

Mitsuru let out a sigh of relief at my mention of threads about the Kirijo group getting 404'd. They probably had some PR person doing damage control on the internet.

“I cannot confirm or deny anything right now. Chairman Ikutsuki and I will need to meet with you and your sister later today.” Mitsuru said. “After you pass a minor physical examination, they should release you.”

Hamuko and I got out later that afternoon. I felt a bit more at ease because I hadn't slept for a week like I had the first time. But that was entirely canceled out by a different fear. It hadn't dawned on me until now, but Hamuko had the Potential. My precious, innocent, baby sister who I before watched burn to a sizzle in a car wreck had the Potential. She could be a Persona user, and if that was true, I would have to fucking guide her through Tartarus. Seeing as she passed out (and according to Yukari, vomited as well) when she saw a shadow for the first time, that's not as good thing. How the hell was I supposed to do this?

That night, Mitsuru called us both to the fourth floor for a “meeting”. I knew what this was going to be, but Hamuko was almost bouncing off the walls with anticipation.

“What do you think she's got for us?” Hamuko asked as we walked up the stairs.

“Ask us about academics, I guess. I mean, we're both staying in this dorm. She's probably going to nag us to join a club or something.” I replied. It wasn't entirely true, but it wasn't entirely false either. I wanted to explain the whole thing to everybody to get this shit over with as soon as possible, but that would tear the fabric of reality apart.

I took a deep breath as we reached the door to the control room. Positive thoughts, Minato. Positive thoughts.

As we opened the door, I saw that everyone I expected was there. Yukari, Mitsuru, Akihiko, and Ikutsuki. God I couldn't wait to find a way to fucking expose that pun-loving bastard. Of course, there were two briefcases on the table in front of them.

“Sit down, this might take a while.” Akihiko said, patting the seat next to him. Hamuko eagerly took the seat.

“You better have not joined that Sanada-san Cult the other second years formed.” I said to her, sitting in the most isolated chair in the room.

“The Sanada Cult, eh?” Akihiko snorted. “You're not that far off.”

“We're not here to talk about your fans, Akihiko.” Mitsuru said, gesturing to the briefcases. Akihiko gave a grunt of agreement, and gestured to Ikutsuki to start speaking.

“What would either of you think if I told you a day consists of more than 24 hours?” Ikutsuki asked. “It sounds impossible, right?”

“Yeah, it does.” Hamuko replied.

“...But it's the truth.” Akihiko added.

“Exactly what Sanada-san said. Every day at midnight, something called the Dark Hour occurs.” Ikutsuki continued. “It's a 'hidden' hour that only those with the Potential can consciously experience.”

“Everyone else is sleeping inside their coffins then, but not us.” Akihiko said, visibly getting excited. “We have the power to fight back against them.”

“Them? Who's 'them'?” Hamuko asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Shadows. Beings of an unknown origin that prey on people without the Potential.” Mitsuru replied.

“Some people who have the Potential can also use a special power. You saw Minato wielding it last night.” Ikutsuki said. “We call this power a Persona.”

Hamuko narrowed her eyes, opening and closing her mouth over and over again as if she were trying to find the words to speak, but couldn't form a cohesive sentence.

“I can use one, and Mitsuru-senpai and Akihiko-senpai can use them too.” Yukari spoke up. “They vary from person to person, and they can use different abilities to kill shadows.”

Hamuko's eyes widened as something clicked in her brain. She shot up out of her seat and began jumping up and down with excitement.

 **“YOU MEAN MY BROTHER'S A STAND MASTER?!”** She squealed, clapping. **“AND I'M ONE TOO?!”**

Oh no. Oh fuck no. She grew up to be a Jojo fangirl. This is the price I have to pay for allowing my sister to live. Now I have to deal with her posing as she summons her Persona. I'm never telling her that my Arcana is The World, lest she stop referring to me as “Minato” and start referring to me as _“ZA WARUDO”._

“Stand...master?” Ikutsuki said, confused.

“It's a popular manga. One of the main concepts is pretty much analogous to the concept of a Persona.” Mitsuru explained to Ikutsuki. “I myself **_have_** wondered if the author was a Persona user, but it's unlikely.”

“...Back to the topic at hand, we wanted to ask both of you to join us. We want you to help in the fight against the shadows.” Akihiko said, steering the conversation back on topic.

“Right! Akihiko, Mitsuru, Yukari, and I are part of an organization led by the Kirijo Group to hunt shadows. It's called the Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad, or SEES for short. On paper, we're an invitation only school club, but in reality, we're much more than that.” Ikutsuki said, opening both of the briefcases to reveal their contents. Each had their own red armband, Evoker, and holsters. “...And we want you two to join.”

Hamuko squealed with joy, reaching for the armband in the left briefcase. She was so giddy it seemed as if she had accepted a marriage proposal, not an offer to join a team dedicated to killing goop demons formed from human emotion with larger, tamed goop demons that came out of your head.

“I take it that's a yes?” Akihiko chuckled.

“Of course! Oh my god, this is so awesome! Minato, are you gonna join too?” She replied, turning to look at me with excitement in her eyes.

“Sure, I guess.” I said, shrugging. Hamuko clapped and tossed the other armband at my head.

“We still need to see if Hamuko-chan's a Persona user, and we have three members who are able to fight now. Does this mean we can start our investigation of Tartarus?” Yukari asked.

“I'd prefer to wait until Akihiko's arm heals, but we can try investigating the first few floors.” Mitsuru replied, crossing her arms.

“Isn't that a pit where the dead go for punishment in Greek mythology? Sorta like Yomi?” Hamuko asked.

“Exactly. We call it ‘Tartarus’ for that very reason. You could say it’s the shadows’ headquarters, like this dorm is our headquarters.” Ikutsuki explained.

“We need at least three people to enter the main structure. At least one person to stay behind on the main floor to track the group’s progress and status. Tartarus is unstable, and the structure can change from day to day. We haven’t had the proper proportion of members to conduct an investigation thus far.” Mitsuru added. “...Knowing that Akihiko is going to try and convince us to visit tomorrow, if not, tonight, I’m going to establish the 13th as the date of our first visit.”

Hamuko clapped, Akihiko rolled his eyes, and Ikutsuki nodded in agreement with Mitsuru’s decision. Looks like we don’t need to wait on Junpei for now. I wondered how he was doing, I kind of needed that happy-go-lucky idiot right now.

When I got back to my room, my MP3 player and headphones were on my nightstand, laid on a note written on pastel pink stationary emblazoned with cartoon bunnies.

_ “Arisato-kun – I’m sorry for hitting you over the head with my bow, but I freaked out after you took my Evoker. You fell forward and kinda landed on your MP3 player. If it’s broken I’m willing to pay for you to buy a new one. - Takeba Yukari” _

I cringed at the part about me falling on top of my MP3 player, and pressed a few of its buttons to test it. The muffled sound of My Speedy Sarah playing out of my headphones confirmed that it was in working order. Sure, the battery was at a 25% charge, but it was fine. It meant a lot to me, it was one of the first things I had bought with my own money. It had followed me through at least a dozen different foster homes. This included a few which didn’t approve of my taste in music. It was my 2 gigabytes of peace in this world, and if it broke, I wasn’t sure what I would do.

I plugged it into its charger and flopped down on my bed to relax, or at least I did until I heard a knock at my door. I hauled myself to the door, creaking it open enough to see Hamuko bouncing up and down.

“Shouldn’t you be in your room?” I asked.

“No, curfew isn’t until 10!” She squawked in reply.

“It’s 9:30.” I said, trying to close the door. Hamuko shoved her arm in the door to try and block it open. A small scuffle between the two of us ensued for dominance over the door. Hamuko won, and shoved her way into my room and sat down on my bed.

“So. Tartarus. SEES. Shadows.” She said, a smug look on her face.

“It’s kinda weird how excited you are for this. Yukari told me you threw up on yourself when you saw the Shadow on the roof last night.” I replied.

“Oh come on, that’s in the past!” Hamuko groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, less than 24 hours in the past. Are you going to kill shadows by upchucking on them?” I said, crossing my arms.

“No! I-I’m gonna use the hockey stick that Takeba-chan gave me!” Hamuko scoffed, puffing her cheeks up in annoyance.

“Sure, sure. I won’t say ‘I told you so’ if you pass out.” I replied. Hamuko narrowed her eyes at me, her face turning red from a mix of anger and embarrassment.

“If I knew you were going to be an asshole, I would have gone to hang out with Akihiko-senpai instead!” She said, getting up and going for the door. “I’m leaving.”

Hamuko stomped out of my room and slammed the door on her way out. Well fuck, I wasn’t happy about my sister being a Persona user, but I didn’t mean to be that much of an asshole. I lazily picked up my MP3 player to check the charge. 40% already, I never got used to how quickly it charged, but I guess it equaled out with how little space it had. I plugged my headphones in and laid down on my bed, flicking to a random song. I closed my eyes and sighed, wondering what Hamuko’s Persona might be as I lost myself in the music.

 

_**Another head aches, another heart breaks** _

_**I am so much older than I can take** _

_**And my affection, well it comes and goes** _

_**I need direction to perfection, no no no no, help me out** _

_**Yeah, you know you got to help me out** _

_**Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner** _

_**You know you got to help me out, yeah** _

_**And when there's nowhere else to run** _

_**Is there room for one more son** _

_**These changes ain't changing me** _

_**The cold-hearted boy I used to be.** _


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thou art I...and I am thou…
> 
> Thou hast established a bond of the suit of Cups.
> 
> Thou shalt be blessed when using Aqua spells.
> 
> Cups…? Aqua spells? What the hell are those, and more importantly, who the fuck is this girl?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY SHITSCRAM
> 
> (Also this has a PSAT reference in it, which should tell you how long this chapter has been rotting in my computer)

 

The 13th came faster than I thought it would. Before I knew it, Hamuko, Yukari, and I were standing at the entrance of Tartarus with Mitsuru and Akihiko. The metallic stench of blood invaded my nostrils, and the air felt as if a thunderstorm was coming. It felt almost comforting. I associated it with Tartarus, hunting shadows, and my friends. Is that actually comfort, or a Pavlovian response?

 

“We’re here. Is everyone ready?” Mitsuru asked, turning back to look at us.

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Hamuko replied, spinning the naginta Mitsuru gave her to replace the hockey stick.

 

“Same here.” Yukari said.

 

“I’m ready too, let’s go.” I added.

 

Mitsuru nodded and led us into the quote-unquote “lobby” of the tower. The three of us, plus Akihiko and Ikutsuki followed behind. It was strange going to Tartarus without Junpei and his awful jokes. Of all the people I could miss, I missed him? Sure, he was an idiot, but he was a good fighter and sometimes his jokes were actually funny. I looked around the lobby as Mitsuru and Ikutsuki set up the monitoring equipment, memories flooding back to me. None of them knew all the things that were going to happen yet. None of them knew that we were going to save a girl’s life here and gain a powerful new member (and not have to deal with how long it took for Mitsuru to set up the monitoring equipment ever again). We were going to watch Ikutsuki betray us only to fail because he forgot to _crucify a fucking dog_. We were going to see Chidori make a face-heel-turn as she died. We were going to _**stop the apocalypse here**_.

 

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. There was no time for reminiscing now, no time for planning things yet. As I came back into reality I noticed Hamuko standing in place near the stairs, swaying as if in a trance.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked. Hamuko blinked, unresponsive to my question. I waved my hand in front of her face, making a clicking sound with my tongue to try and reply to her. Hamuko finally snapped out of it, turning to me with confusion.

 

“Didn’t you see the door?” She asked. “It’s right there!”

 

My blood ran cold when I realized where she was standing. That was where the door to the Velvet Room always was, and I couldn’t see it. I remembered the first time I entered the Velvet Room from Tartarus, how Junpei said I looked like a zombie. Oh no, this was _**not**_ happening. Not on my watch.

 

“Arisato-kun, you ready to go?” Yukari shouted from the top of the stairs, gesturing towards the door to the first block.

 

“Yeah, yeah, wait for us.” I said, tugging Hamuko’s sleeve to urge her towards the entrance.

 

We went up the stairs, and a familiar blast of cold, stale, moldy-smelling wind hit me in the face, blowing my bangs out of place. Hamuko and Yukari coughed, but I was still used to it.

 

“Y-you _**took that**_? No flinching” Yukari said, giving me her classic “what the fuck _**are**_ you, even?” look.

 

“You’re acting like you didn’t see it not effect me.” I replied. Yukari rolled her eyes and entered the first block.

* * *

 

“Be careful. This may only be the first floor, but the structure of Tartarus still changes from day to day. Make sure to plan your movements before you go ahead.” Mitsuru’s voice said, crackling. In that moment, I missed Fuuka too. She didn’t have to use equipment to extend the reach of her Persona’s ability to sense life. With that, we didn’t get the awful, feedback-y sound we got when Mitsuru acted as navigator.

 

“Should we find a weak shadow for Hamuko-chan to test out?” Yukari asked.

 

“You read my mind, Takeba.” Mitsuru replied. “There should be one around the corner. Arisato, back her up if she can’t handle it.”

 

“You’re acting like I’m not her older brother.” I snorted. “Of course I will.”

 

The three of us snuck around the corner, looking for it.

 

“You see that blob there, Hamuko-chan?” Yukari asked. “That’s it. Try to sneak up on it.”

 

Hamuko nodded, approaching the tiny blob of Nyx-goop while unholstering her Evoker. She held it to her head, breathing heavily.

 

“PERSONA!” She shouted as a blinding light surrounded her. Oh god, here we go. No going back. My adorable, annoying baby sister is a Persona user.

 

_ **I am thou…** _

 

_ **Thou art I…** _

 

_ **I will bring forth new enlightenment to the uninspired, and eloquence to the inarticulate. I am Linus, master of lyric and speech!** _

 

“She did it! She did it on her first try!” Yukari gasped. “She threw up on the roof, how come she could deal with it now?!”

 

“Maybe she was experiencing side effects of experiencing the Dark Hour? I mean, nausea and disorientation are major ones.” I replied. Yukari turned her head to me and furrowed her brow.

 

“How did you know about that? Mitsuru-senpai never told you about the side effects!” Yukari said, confused. Fuck, she was right. I wasn’t supposed to know that yet.

 

“Uh...lucky guess?” I said, monotone. Yukari shrugged and went back to keeping an eye on Hamuko, who was taking her dear sweet time to kill the scrawny shadow.

 

“Zio!” Hamuko shouted. A familiar gushing sound echoed through the hall, indicating that she had finished it.

 

“Did I do good?” Hamuko chirped, turning back to us. Yukari and I gave her a thumbs-up, to which she clapped.

 

We kept on our usual rhythm, or at least what was going to be our usual rhythm once Yukari and Hamuko caught up to me. I tried to keep myself constrained to sword duty. They could train their Personas, and I could conserve energy. Win-win, I guess?

 

It wasn’t until we stumbled on a group of seven or eight Cowardly Mayas that I finally used Orpheus for the first time that night.

 

“Agi.” I said, monotone. You know what? Now I miss Maragi. Not Maragidyne or Agialo. Maragi. Resetting means I have to learn that shit all over again. Including the ability to cast a fucking fire spell on multiple enemies. Now I have to hit them all individually before we can even get an All-Out Attack.

 

But we did, and _**god**_ was it satisfying. Nothing to cure stress like a shadow-beat down so severe that it caused a massive dust-up that almost blinded you. Thinking about it, why didn’t All-Out Attacks ever cause friendly fire? And what the hell was all that dust made from? Was is shadow bits? Asbestos? I shouldn’t think too much about that, it might keep me up at night.

 

“That...that sure was an experience.” Hamuko panted, wiping sweat from her brow.

 

“Yeah, but don’t get too comfortable, there’s another group of shadows over there.” Yukari whispered, pointing her bow to a writing mass less than a few meters from us.

 

Hamuko groaned and unholstered her Evoker, approaching the shadow. “Can we go back after this one?”

 

I chased after her, ready to back her up.

 

“Bufu!” Hamuko commanded, ice crystals surrounding the shadow.

 

Wait...Hamuko’s Persona used Zio, not Bufu. I saw her use Zio multiple times. _Yukari_ saw her use Zio multiple times.

 

“Linus can use Bufu?” Yukari asked, confused as I was.

 

“No, but Apsaras can!” Hamuko replied, chipper. “Didn’t you see the cards too? When we did the group attack, like, two minutes ago? That’s how I got her.”

 

My blood ran cold. I knew from the moment Hamuko shrieked about the “kid in the prison uniform” in the dorm that this was a possibility. I prayed that it wouldn’t, that we’d both be as normal as Persona users could be, but now one of my most immediate fears was true. My precious, obnoxious baby sister was not only a Persona user, but a _**Wild Card**_.

 

“I see you’ve found an access point, as well as the stairway to the next floor.” Mitsuru’s voice said, scratchy static piercing the awkward silence. “Come back to the entrance, we’re going back to the dorm for the night. We’ll continue this sometime later in the week.”

 

We followed her instructions, but I couldn’t help but be distracted the whole way back to the dorm. I didn’t sleep well that night.

* * *

 

Have you ever gone to school on two and a half hours of sleep? If not, be glad. It’s a special kind of hell. Imagine, if you will, being so out of it that you have to make a conscious effort to keep your eyes open, and that having your eyes open feels like someone’s using your eyeballs as a pincushion. Also imagine walking feeling like that one game, you know, the one where you have to control a runner’s legs, but the shins and thighs are bound to different keys, and it’s next to impossible to play? Yeah, it’s like that.

 

Needless to say, I wasn't all there. I didn’t notice the gap between the train car and the platform, so I tripped and fell. I didn’t notice the students biking to school, so I almost got run down by the _Tour de Iwatodai_ peloton. I would’ve also not noticed myself walking head-on into the school gate if a girl hadn’t grabbed me by the collar of my jacket and yanked me back.

 

“Dude, are you okay?” She asked, waving her hand in front of my face. “You got Apathy Syndrome or something?”

 

“...Personal sp-” I began to say, before I stopped mid-snark when my eyes finally focused on her face. She looked almost identical to Chidori, except for a few minor features. Her hair was fluffy, medium-length and brown instead of pin-straight, long, and bright red. She also looked vaguely less dead inside. Despite this, the resemblance still threw me off. Strega was a gaggle of street kids that the Kirijo Group kidnapped, right? Maybe this girl was Chidori’s sister or cousin.

 

“Oh great, you do have Apathy Syndrome.” Not-Chidori said, pulling out her phone and preparing to dial 119.

 

“N-no, I’m tired.” I said, shaking my head. “What’s your name?”

 

“Sato Minori. Aren’t you the new kid?” She replied. “I think your name is like...Makoto something?”

 

“Yes, I’m the new kid, and no, my name isn’t Makoto.” I answered. “Arisato Minato.”

 

“Heh, we’ve got pretty similar names. I wonder if you’re my evil twin from an alternate universe.” Minori snorted, closing her phone and sliding it back in her pocket. “See ya later, Doppelganger!”

 

If she has an evil twin from an alternate universe, it’s Chidori, not me. Either that or Chidori has an evil twin from an alternate universe in the form of her. As I was about to walk through the gate, a mysterious voice that I knew all too well rang in my head.

 

_ **Thou art I...and I am thou…** _

 

_ **Thou hast established a bond of the suit of Cups.** _

 

_ **Thou shalt be blessed** _ _ **when using Aqua spells.** _

 

Cups…? Aqua spells? What the hell are those, and more importantly, who the fuck is this girl? Is she actually related to Chidori? Needless to say, I was even more out of it at that point. Junpei pouncing on me once I reached my locker didn’t help matters. I may have missed him last night, but I sure as hell didn’t miss him right now.

 

“’Sup dude?” He asked, obnoxiously friendly as ever.

 

“Not me, that’s what.” I yawned, switching out of my normal shoes to my school slippers. “Which vending machines have Mad Bull again?”

 

“Ehhh...I think there’s still some in the school store, but not much, and it’s all crappy flavors like ‘grape’.” Junpei replied. “You know what fake ‘grape’ flavor tastes like? Purple. It literally tastes like the color purple.”

 

“Concentrated purple is better than falling asleep in front of Ms. Torumi.” I replied, pulling out some change to buy some liquid caffeine and going towards the store, still paying attention to everyone’s favorite baseball-hatted dweeb. “Off topic, but do you know a girl named Sato Minori?”

 

“Yeah, I know her. She moved here about a year after I did, and she’s picked on for having small boobs.” Junpei answered. “N-not that I’ve been paying attention to her boobs, I pay attention to how much she gets picked on.”

 

I gave a non-commital grunt. Yeah, yeah, we know you _so totally_ don’t look at boobs, Junpei. I bet the underside of your bed would tell a _very_ different story.

 

“Who picks on her?” I asked, shelling out my change to the store attendant. “One Mad Bull, whatever you have left.”

 

Junpei thought for a moment about who he’d seen picking on Sato-chan while I got my Mad Bull. Yep, it was “grape” alright.

 

“You know that one girl, the ganguro from 2-F?” Junpei asked. “It’s her and a few of her friends.”

 

“Moriyama, eh?” I replied. “She spreads herself too thin, she should stick to bullying one person.”

 

“You already know her name? Damn, you have amazing memory, man!” Junpei said, blinking in awe and confusion.

 

“I try to be a good student.” I replied. “...And remembering names is part of that.”

 

“Dude, that’s almost superhuman! Sometimes I forget my own name!” Junpei gawked.

 

“Looks like you have someone to ask when you’re in situations like that.” I said.  


* * *

 

The week trudged on like normal. Living in my definition of “normal” became easier. Trips to Tartarus became more common, but I had to get used to Mitsuru being our navigator. The metallic screech the Persona-Com let out before she started was _**not**_ something I fondly remembered. Watching Hamuko manhandle her Wild Card ability made me scream internally. Was this how awful I was when I first started? Or was my shrimp of a sister _that_ bad?

 

When the 18h came, it was like a breath of fresh air. As we were going back to the dorm, we heard the ungodly wailing of what I thought at first was Koromaru trying to fend shadows away from the shrine. As we got closer to it, we realized, one, it was coming from a convenience store, and two, it was a human.

 

“Who’s in there?!” Yukari shouted, trying to pry open the locked automatic door. “We won’t hurt you if you won’t hurt us!”

 

The crying stopped for a second, and a voice croaked out from the darkness.

 

“Yuka-tan? I-is that you?” Junpei sniffled, his voice hoarse. Yukari stopped trying at the door, backing away as if it had turned into a Shadow.

 

“Nope. No. I’m not going to help that creep. Arisato-kun, Hamuko-chan, you’re on your own.” She said, briskly walking in the opposite direction. Mitsuru grabbed her by the collar of the shirt, pushing her back towards the store before she could get far.

 

“Just because you don’t like someone isn’t just reason to let them die. What if he’s a Persona user?” Mitsuru snapped.

 

“He better not be!” Yukari squeaked. I rolled my eyes, going through the non-automatic door that Yukari conveniently ignored, Hamuko following behind me.

 

Junpei was in the farthest corner of the store, curled up next to the refrigerated foods. His eyes lit up when he realized Hamuko was with me. He jumped up, grabbing both of us into a bear hug, tears still streaming down his face.

 

“O-oh god, I thought I was g-gonna die! You two s-saved my life!” He wailed, rubbing his face on our shoulders.

 

“P-personal...space...” I choked out, barely able to breathe from how hard he was hugging me. Junpei let go of us, pulling back and trying to compose himself. Either he realized Hamuko was, y’know, _a girl,_ or that I was going to deck him if he kept acting like an idiot.

 

“Is he alright?” Mitsuru called out, entering the store and making her way through the maze of coffins to us. She surveyed the scene, wrinkling her nose at the contents of Junpei’s knocked-over shopping basket.

 

“You realize it’s illegal to buy alcohol until you’re 20, right?” She said, giving him her famous “strict class president” glare.

 

“I-it’s not for me, I hate that stuff! My...” Junpei yelped, cutting himself off. “...A friend of mine talked me into trying to buy booze for him. H-he was too chicken to do it himself.”

 

Mitsuru rolled her eyes, gesturing for us to leave. She didn’t believe Junpei. Something felt wrong to me. It didn’t feel like Junpei would be the kind of person to bend to friends telling him to do something like that. Didn’t he freak out on Kenji once when he suggested that they try to go to a bar to pick up chicks? I shrugged it off, maybe he had less of a spine earlier in the year.

 

Yukari complained the whole way to the dorms about us keeping Junpei for the night. Mitsuru wasn’t happy about it either, but she felt obligated to help him. Hamuko was over the moon, blabbering about having a “sleepover” with him. Talking about what games she wanted to play on the dorm’s Wii with him. What kind of snacks she wanted to make, et cetera.

 

Ikutsuki wasn’t exactly happy when we came back with a new teammate.

 

“You found him... _where_?” Ikutsuki said, blinking with confusion.

 

“A corner store. He got trapped there when the Dark Hour started. He’s showing signs of disorientation and memory loss as well.” Mitsuru explained. “I only want to keep him here for a night to monitor him.”

 

“I want him to move in after school tomorrow.” Akihiko said. “We need all the new members we can find. He’s part of the baseball team, he has prior training.”

 

Junpei gave an awkward grin at Akihiko’s comment about the baseball team, shaking his head.

 

“Pleaaase, Chairman Ikutsuki? He’s scared, and his place is really far from here!” Hamuko squeaked, bouncing up and down behind Akihiko.

 

“He’s a person, not a homeless dog!” Ikutsuki said. Yeah, Junpei isn’t a homeless dog, but we _were_ going to be taking a homeless dog in sooner or later.

 

“How about we keep him here for a week? He doesn’t know how to control his ability, and shadows _will_ attack him if he doesn’t learn how to. If he isn’t a good fit after the week’s up, we can kick him out.” I proposed. “He’s a Gekkoukan student, it’s not breaking any rules to keep him here.”

 

Ikutsuki pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “Fine, just for a week.”

 

Hamuko and Akihiko looked at each other, grinning like idiots.

* * *

 

Over the next two days, the dorm got a bit louder. The dulcet tones of _Mario Kart Wii_ and _Great Frey Smash Brothers X_ returned. This time with Hamuko yelling along to the game with Junpei instead of Ken and Fuuka. The night of the 20th, we invited Junpei to the fourth floor for a briefing, and to ask him to go on his first trip to Tartarus that night.

 

“’Sup dudes!” Junpei chirped as he pushed the door to the fourth floor open.

 

“C’mon, sit here!” Hamuko said, patting the seat next to her and Akihiko. He accepted her offer, flopping down on the couch.

 

“How long have you been experiencing the Dark Hour?” Mitsuru asked.

 

“The Dark _what now_?” Junpei asked.

 

“Remember the night we found you in the store? All the coffins, the green tint to the light, the stormy feeling in the air? That was the Dark Hour.” Mitsuru said.

 

“Ohhh yeah, that! I can’t remember, the night in the store is the first time I’ve really remembered it. It first happened a few months ago. My game console turned off when I was playing it late at night, and I got frustrated when it wouldn’t turn back on, and I went to bed. It kept happening every night after that, and I assumed my dad was cutting the power to my room.” Junpei said.

 

“Your father cuts the power to your room?” Mitsuru asked.

 

“Oh yeah, all the time. He does it if he thinks I’m up too late or if he’s mad at me.” Junpei laughed. “...Isn’t that normal?”

 

Most of the people in the room shook their heads at his question, confused.

 

“That’s beside the point. I’d like you to join us in Tartarus tonight so that we can test your abilities.” Mitsuru said, putting a shiny metal briefcase on the coffee table, identical to the ones she gave Hamuko and I.

 

“Tartarus…? That sounds like toothpaste.” Junpei said.

 

“It’s a structure that only appears during the Dark Hour.” Mitsuru replied. “We suspect it’s the place that Shadows come from.”

 

Junpei blinked, looking back and forth between Mitsuru and the case. “I don’t get it.”

 

“The Dark Hour is a time between one day and the next. You could call it a ‘hidden’ hour. Only select people can experience it, and you’re one.” Ikutsuki explained. “And during the Dark Hour, monsters that we call ‘Shadows’ roam, looking for people to prey on.”

 

“...And some of us can use a special power to defeat them.” Akihiko said, excitement bubbling in his eyes. “We want to see if you can use it.”

 

“It’s called a Persona! Akihiko-senpai can use it, Minato can, and so can I!” Hamuko added. “It’s kinda like a Stand!”

 

Junpei’s eyes lit up, and he got the stupidest grin on his face.

 

“Y-you read Jojo?!” He squealed. “What’s your favorite arc?! Mine’s _Stardust Crusaders_!”

 

“Let’s get back on topic.” Mitsuru said, unlocking the case. “You can talk about Jojo later.”

 

Once the shine of the Evoker caught Junpei’s eye, you could see any thoughts of dumb manga leave his mind. He looked in the case with a sense of awe mixed with horror.

 

“I-is that a gun?” He laughed nervously. “P-please tell me that’s not actually a gun.”

 

“It’s not.” Akihiko replied. “We call it an Evoker – an item used to summon your Persona. You’ll be needing it tonight.”

 

“...If you even agree to come. This is your choice, after all.” Mitsuru added.

 

“Whadddya mean ‘if’?! Hell yeah I’m coming!” Junpei replied, excited.

 

Hamuko squealed, clapping with excitement. Yukari groaned, rubbing her temples and muttering about “that stupid jerk”.   


* * *

 

11:59 on April 20th, 2009. Last time around, this was my first trip to Tartarus as well. We stood outside the school gates, waiting for the Dark Hour.

 

“Am I missing something? T-this is the school!” Junpei said, confused.

 

“Give it a second.” I replied, looking at the internal clock on my MP3 player.

 

11:59:57...11:59:58…11:59:59… _ **BZZT**_

 

Entering the Dark Hour was a lot like falling asleep when you didn’t mean to. Instead of closing your eyes and when they opened again seeing that it was an hour or seven past when you laid down, you looked away for a second or two and when you looked back, everything was black and green.

 

The telltale metallic scraping from the general direction of the school signified that Tartarus was rebuilding itself, as it did every night. When it stopped, Junpei let out a sound like a cat with its tail caught in a sliding door.

 

“W-what the hell?! _**That’s**_ Tartarus?! What happened to our school?!” He yelped, taking a step back in shock.

 

“Don’t worry, it turns back once the Dark Hour is over.” I replied.

 

“Come on, it’s gonna be fun!” Hamuko chirped, tugging at Junpei’s sleeve for him to follow Mitsuru, Akihiko, and I in.

 

Junpei was awestruck by what he saw. It was just the lobby, but hey, it was his first time. Of course he was going to be like a little kid at Disney World.

 

“By the way...there’s one thing we haven’t covered yet.” Akihiko said, stopping us as we went to climb the stairs to the first block. “We still need a leader. I’m out of commission, and Mitsuru needs to stay here. That leaves one of you four to be it.”

 

Hamuko, Junpei, Yukari, and I looked back and forth between each other. Yukari shook her head, rejecting the offer.

 

“Oh, me, me! Pick me!” Junpei squawked, bouncing.

 

“We weren’t considering you.” Akihiko replied. “If anything, we were considering...”

 

“I’ll do it.” I said.

 

Akihiko narrowed his eyes, giving me that “look” upperclassmen give people. Crap, I interrupted him. I forgot I had issues with that.

 

“We were considering Hamuko.” Akihiko continued. “Mitsuru and I thought she would be a good choice.”

 

Wait, what? Hamuko? Why the hell did they pick her, she’s 15!

 

“Whaaa?! Why her?! She’s...well, she’s a girl!” Junpei said, disappointed.

 

“If you want to remain on this team, you won’t use excuses like that for your anger about us appointing someone more qualified than you to be our leader.” Mitsuru snapped, glaring at Junpei. “Women can do an equally good, if not better, job as a leader.”

 

“My issue is that she’s a first year. Are you sure she’s old enough for this?” I asked.

 

“Age doesn’t matter. Hamuko has shown herself to be competent, and a skilled Persona user.” Mitsuru explained. “I would have nominated you, but your reckless behavior on the 9th showed me that you do not have what it takes to lead SEES.”

 

Son of a bitch. My being impatient just fucked over one of the most major points of this whole redo thing. Not only did I lose the position of leader, I lost it to my little sister.

 

This is bad. _**Really**_ bad.

 


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t speak, I tried to, but the most that came out was a pathetic whimper. I could feel tears welling in my eyes. Great, as if I didn’t feel pathetic enough, now I was crying in public. What was going to happen now? Was I going to be a drain on everyone else? What was going to happen to Hamuko?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy door day!
> 
> Sorry this is taking so long, life is really consuming me right now. I haven't had much time to work on this, and as you can probably tell it's minimally edited.

_**May** _ _**9** _ _**th** _ _**, 2009.** _ _**Iwatodai Station.** _

 

“By the way, don’t look up.” Yukari said, glaring at Junpei from her position on the ladder to the monorail.

 

“Aw man, what about me?!” Hamuko sarcastically whined. “ _ **I**_ want Yukari to tell me not to look up!”

 

Yukari rolled her eyes as she ascended the ladder. “Junpei’s the only one here who I need to remind!”

 

Hamuko mockingly repeated Yukari’s word under her breath, her face contorting in annoyance. She went up the ladder first, then me. Junpei lost his grip on one of the bars, awkwardly fumbling to get it back. I helped him up, cursing under my breath when I realized he was heavier than he looked.

 

“You okay?” I asked.

 

Junpei let out a sheepish laugh. “Yeah man, j-just a bit out of shape.”

 

Out of shape? Weird, I thought he was on the baseball team. At least, the aesthetic he had gave off that feeling. But then again, we didn’t talk that much the first time around. I was too busy thinking that everyone didn’t actually care about me, and he was too busy being jealous that I was the leader. With how things are turning out, I guess he’s going to be jealous of Hamuko now. Maybe if I make more of an effort to connect with him, he’ll see that I’m not the cool chick magnet he thinks I am. How many cool people do _**you**_ know that eat stale, probably expired gas station onigiri because they can’t find the motivation to cook actual food? The answer is probably “None, what the hell is wrong with you?”.

 

The train doors slammed shut, and the monorail started to lurch forward.

 

“ _Dude, what the hell?!”_

 

“ _This can’t be happening, the train shouldn’t work!”_

 

“ _OH GOD, WE’RE GONNA DIE!”_

 

“ _Well, fuck.”_

 

Alright, we’ve done this before, we can do this again, right? The unfortunately familiar metallic screech of the Persona-Com interrupted our communal hysteria.

 

“What’s happening?!”

 

“You tell us, the train’s moving for some reason!” Yukari said, trying to pry one of the doors open.

 

“The Shadow might be manipulating the controls, exercise extreme caution!”

 

Hamuko banged her naginta against a window. “EASIER SAID THAN DONE!”

 

“Maybe if we go to the conductor's car, we can enable the emergency brake?” I suggested.

 

Junpei turned from trying to climb the luggage rack to find an escape hatch. “Trains have emergency brakes?!”

 

Yukari groaned, giving up on prying the door open. “Of course they do! What are you, stupid?!”

 

“Hey, calm down! This isn’t the time to fight! Let’s find the brake if it exists or not!” Hamuko said, urging us to go towards the next car. Okay, good. She’s actually trying to take this leader thing seriously.

 

 

No shadows yet. I knew they were coming, I knew one was going to lead Junpei’s dumb ass on a wild goose chase, almost get all of us killed, and lead us to the Shadow in the conductor's car. Like the night on the roof, I went into autopilot. Once again, going into autopilot screwed us over. How, you may ask?

 

I tripped over my own feet and fell directly onto the same Shadow I was trying to keep Junpei away from. Yeah. That happened. Before you ask, _**yes**_ it felt terrible. Falling into a blob of pissed off alien death-goop comprised of raw human emotion isn’t the most fun thing in the world. It’s actually one of the worst things. Probably number four on my list of “worst things that could possibly happen” right below watching your parents and younger sister die in a fiery car crash, public speaking, and having the metaphysical concept of death itself sealed inside your body for ten years.

 

Hamuko and Junpei shouted several different variations on “are you okay?” in my general direction. No, I wasn’t okay. Shadow goop burned like hell, and the damn thing still managed to squiggle out from under me and run off. If my being an idiot could have done anything right, it could have _at least_ killed the damn Shadow! Of course, Junpei ran after it.

 

“Damn it, couldn’t you have looked where you were going?!” Yukari said, glaring at me.

 

I pulled myself up with one of the nearby poles, wincing. “Well I’m sorry I tripped, which led Junpei to do something stupid, which I can’t control.”

 

Yukari rolled her eyes. “Come on, we have to go find Stupei before he gets himself killed.”

 

As we expected, we found Junpei getting his ass handed to him. But I have to admit, he was persistent. That’s not always a good thing, like when you’re getting your ass handed to you by a couple of shadows.

 

Hamuko jumped in to help, spinning back to face Yukari and I as she unholstered her Evoker. “Don’t just stand there, damn it!”

 

“I’ve got it under control!” Junpei retorted, smacking a shadow with his sword like it was a baseball bat. No Junpei, you really don’t have it under control.

 

“There’s three of them! Minato, Yukari, you go after those two! I’ll help Junpei with this one!” Hamuko shouted. She’s getting better at this leader thing. I’m proud of her.

 

 

The train sped up. We ran faster. It almost felt like it took less than a minute for us to reach the conductor's car. There it was. Our first full moon shadow of many.

 

Junpei recoiled in fear when he saw it. “Is that the friggin’ boss?”

 

“I...I hope she knows the significance of the letters on her boobs.” Hamuko said, laughing sheepishly.

 

Yukari and Junpei looked at her, puzzled. Hamuko cleared her throat, trying to explain it. “It’s...uh...English. English slang.”

 

“Slang for _what_?” Yukari asked. Hamuko awkwardly tried to say the word out loud, but eventually gave up and mimed the action by holding her fist up to her mouth and bobbing her head back and forth. Yukari cringed when she realized what it meant.

 

“More reason to kill it sooner rather than later.” I replied.

 

“He’s right. Who wants to go first?” Hamuko said. No one took her offer. “...Do I gotta do everything myself?!”

 

She ran head-on towards the “Boss” as Junpei put it, slashing at its stomach. The sickening noise from the attack was not unlike someone squeezing pudding between their fingers. Yukari followed up with an arrow to the shadow’s eye, causing it to let out a shriek of pain. Of course, that made the damn thing summon minions. Why did I forget this one could summon minions?

 

Junpei and I ran for the minions, making little headway with our abilities.

 

“Stand back!” Hamuko shouted, unholstering her evoker. “MABUFU!”

 

The minions shriveled into nothingness with a shriek of pain. Hamuko gestured towards the main enemy, annoyed. “Come on! We don’t have much time left!”

 

I ran for the chest, jumping up before sinking my sword into where the heart would be if we weren’t fighting a blob of alien gunk formed by human emotion. The same pudding-squishing noise followed by a shriek of pain sounded as I slid downwards, cutting the belly. Before I could run, the shadow grabbed me by the collar of my jacket, throwing me against the window of the car. The impact forced all the air out of my lungs as I felt the glass crack. Landing on the floor was almost worse, it almost felt as if my shoulder popped out of its socket.

 

The room spun as I tried to get my bearings. I saw the fight in slow snippets, like a stop-motion animation. Hamuko using elemental abilities on the shadow as Junpei, bless his heart, tried to use his katana like a baseball bat. Yukari noticing where I fell and shouting something I couldn’t hear over the ringing in my ears. Yukari running over to me and kneeling down to make sure I was still alive.

 

“I-I’m fine.” I sputtered, tasting something metallic. Did I land with my mouth open on the floor or something?

 

Yukari groaned, rolling her eyes as she prepared to summon Io as she said the first thing I could make out. Sure, it sounded like she was underwater, but I could make it out. “There’s blood coming out of your mouth, asshole!”

 

Oh. Okay. So that’s what the metallic taste was. My own blood. This is fine.

 

I wheezed as the soft green light of Dia enveloped me. I could feel all the little wounds healing, including my shoulder popping back into place. As I wobbled to my feet, I saw the “boss” dissolve into the ether as Junpei landed a finishing blow. Alright, good, now all I have to do is find the emergency brake. I stumbled across the car to where I remembered the emergency brake was last time. How did I know which one it was again?

 

...The presence of a bright red lever marked “EMERGENCY BRAKE” answered my own question.

 

All four of us (and Junpei’s hat) went flying in different directions as the monorail screeched to a halt. I was flat on my back. Junpei groaned as he got up, putting his hat back on. “D-dude, I’m like, drenched in sweat...”

 

“I think I’m drenched in something other than sweat.” Hamuko laughed sheepishly as she looked down at her skirt.

 

Yukari got up, looking behind me. “How did you manage to do that? You got thrown against that window pretty hard. Also, how’d you know which one was the brake?”

 

“I went for the one that was bright red and said ‘EMERGENCY BRAKE’.” I replied.

 

“Okay, cool. Now let’s get out of here before the Dark Hour ends.” Hamuko said, prying open an emergency exit. “...I need to shower. More than once.”

* * *

 

I would’ve been fucked if I had school the next day. I thought I was okay after Yukari helped me, I mean, I could stand up. By the next morning, I could barely stand up. Everything hurt everywhere, and I felt like death warmed over. I tried to sleep it off, but the pain made it almost impossible to sleep. (Note to self: never get thrown into a window by a shadow ever again.)

 

The door to my room creaked open, and a flying bottle of Bufferin hit me square in the eye. I shot straight up from my bed, regretting it as soon as I realized I was no longer horizontal. “Shit..fuck! Where the hell did this come from?!”

 

Hamuko creaked the door open enough to fit her head in. “I heard you making horror movie noises from downstairs. You’re welcome.”

 

“You could hear me?” I groaned, crawling back into bed. “...And where the hell did you get a bottle of Bufferin?”

 

“It’s from an awesome place at the mall, it’s called a ‘pharmacy’. I don’t think you’ve ever heard of it because you don’t take care of yourself.” Hamuko retorted. “I got too much, and from the noises you were making, I figured you needed some.”

 

I popped the bottle open, shaking two pills out. “Thanks, I guess.”

 

Hamuko squawked, running to slap the pills out of my hand. “You have to eat first! And you can’t dry swallow them!”

 

“I’ve eaten already.” I replied.

 

Hamuko rolled her eyes. “A single packet of nori chips from the vending machine down the hall doesn’t count. I’ll go get you something from the fridge.”

 

She ran out, taking the bottle with her. Sure, call out on my terrible eating habits while I’m flat on my back and can’t cook for myself instead of not having the motivation to actually cook.

 

Hamuko came back with a plate of reheated rice and instant curry. If she’s going to throw stones about my eating habits, at least she should try to not have those same habits. She sat down on the edge of my bed, picking up a piece of the meat, holding it in front of my mouth. “Say ‘ahhh’!”

 

“That’s just insulting.” I groaned, sitting up and taking the chopsticks from her. “You know I can feed myself, right?”

 

“Alright, fine. I’ll give you the pills too.” Hamuko huffed, putting the plate and bottle on my bedside table. I scarfed down the food after she left. I don’t know why, but I’ve always had issues with eating in front of other people.

 

I fell asleep as soon as I downed the pills. Either I was more tired than I thought, or Bufferin knocks me out.

 

I woke up to the sound of knocking at my door. I jumped, startled by the sudden awakening.

 

“Arisato? Are you awake?” Mitsuru asked from the other side.

 

“I am now.” I groaned, sitting up. Thankfully, my back didn’t feel like one of those twisty camera tripod things anymore. “What do you need?”

 

Mitsuru came in and closed the door before I could even finish the second part of my sentence. “I’m sorry for such short notice, but we need to talk.”

 

Oh dear god. She said those four words that make grown men cry in fear. I’m fucked.

 

“About what?” I asked, trying to maintain my composure.

 

“Ikutsuki and I have noticed some troubling patterns in your behavior for the past few battles.” Mitsuru said. Oh great, she’s still under Ikutsuki’s thumb. The fucker probably knows I’m onto him. I need to find some way to expose him before everything goes to hell in a handbasket. “...And in your everyday life.”

 

I tried to prop myself up to talk better. “Like what?”

 

“You’ve shown quite a few reckless actions that show you have little concern for your life. Like last night, when you ran directly for the shadow controlling the monorail’s stomach. You do things like that almost every time we go into battle, and it’s always in a way that would leave others out of harm’s way, but could potentially kill you. Outside of battle, you sleep more than others your age. I’ve heard you talking about lacking motivation and energy to do simple tasks, like cooking food or cleaning your room.” Mitsuru explained. Her tone wasn’t angry, like I thought it would be, it was...concerned? “I suspect you’re suffering from an untreated illness.”

 

“I’m fine, I just need to apply myself more.” I replied.

 

“...That’s the problem. You apply yourself far too much, and you view things that may be out of your control as weakness.” She continued. “I’ve spoken with Ikutsuki, and we both agree that seeing a councilor would help you in the long run.”

 

Oh _**FUCK**_ no, Ikutsuki’s trying to make it look like I’m crazy now? Damn it, I really need to find out how to take him out.

 

“What would happen if I agreed?” I asked.

 

“I already know of a reputable neuropsychologist in the area. If you agreed, I’d set up an appointment for you to go through a round of testing to see if there’s any ailments that you need treatment. If that’s the case, I would encourage you to seek weekly or bi-weekly therapy appointments. If needed, we could look into medications to aid your recovery.” Mitsuru said. Okay, that’s complex. I’ve never heard of such a complex process before, but Mitsuru knows what she’s doing.

 

“You’re talking about it as if you’d pay for the whole thing.” I replied.

 

“I would. The Kirijo Group is responsible for the physical and mental health of all the members of SEES, not just you. If Iori or Takeba showed the same symptoms as you, I’d offer them the same level of aid.” She answered. “Are you willing to consider my offer?”

 

Fuck it, I’m going to say yes just to prove to Ikutsuki that I’m not crazy. “I’ll do it.”

* * *

The soonest Mitsuru could get an appointment for me was the next Sunday. The week went by as almost all weeks do, nothing special other than that one time Ms. Toriumi slammed a six-kilogram book on Junpei’s desk to wake him up. The poor idiot thought there was an earthquake.  
  


The day came for me to visit the doctor. I still thought there was nothing wrong, and Ikutsuki was just trying to get me institutionalized. Mitsuru made sure to come up with some elaborate lie to protect my privacy as to why I had to leave school two hours early.  
  


I’ve always hated hospitals. The smell of the cleaners they use, the overwhelming feeling of fear and mourning, et cetera. It’s not helped by the fact that I was stuck in a hospital for two months after my parents died.  
  


The nurse called my name, leading me into the psychologist’s office. It had a surprisingly welcoming atmosphere. It was nothing like a normal hospital exam room.  
  


“Arisato Minato?” The psychologist, a woman in her early 30s with short brown hair, said.  
  


“That’s me.” I replied.  
  


“Wonderful to meet you, I’m Doctor Sonomura. It says here that you’ve been referred to me for psychological testing, is that correct?” She said. I nodded. “Great! Take a seat on the couch, and I’ll go over what we’ll be doing today.”  
  


Two weeks of almost daily three-hour testing sessions combined with exams took the life out of me. When the 31st came, I couldn’t wait to get the results and be done with this stupid song and dance.

 

I thought the 31st was going to be my last day with Doctor Sonomura. I thought that there was nothing wrong with me. I thought I wasn’t weak enough to let myself get sick. My ears were ringing like the night on the monorail when the shadow threw me at the window. I couldn’t breathe. There was no way this was real, Ikutsuki had to have faked the results. I was fine, damn it!

 

“Minato? Minato, can you hear me?” Doctor Sonomura asked. “It’s going to be alright, diagnosis is the first step to getting better. I promise, this won’t have any impact on your academics. I’m not going to jump the gun and have you institutionalized.”

 

I couldn’t speak, I tried to, but the most that came out was a pathetic whimper. I could feel tears welling in my eyes. Great, as if I didn’t feel pathetic enough, now I was crying in public. What was going to happen now? Was I going to be a drain on everyone else? What was going to happen to Hamuko?

 

“It’s alright. You can stay here as long as it takes for you to get your bearings to go home.” Doctor Sonomura said.

 

I needed that. I really, really needed that.

* * *

 

The train ride back to the dorm felt like a punch to the gut. I could _ **feel**_ people staring at me, I could _**feel**_ them judging me, I could _**feel**_ them thinking “what’s wrong with that boy?”. It burned, and I could barely hear my music over the sound of my own fear.  
  


Hamuko tried to talk to me when I walked in, but I didn’t reply. I walked to my room like a zombie, Hamuko trailing behind me trying to get me to talk. I didn’t even bother trying to keep her out of my room once I got there.  
  


“What the hell’s wrong with you?!” She shouted. I finally snapped, sick of trying to get some goddamn peace and quiet.  
  


“What’s wrong with me?! You wanna know what’s fucking wrong with me?! I’m broken, that’s why! Watching our parents fucking burn to death ruined me for the rest of my fucking life, and I’m sick!” I snarled. Hamuko froze, confused.  
  


“Wha...you’re...you’re sick? Do you have cancer or something?!” She asked.  
  


“No. Major depression, post traumatic stress disorder, anorexia. Some other shit I couldn’t hear the doctor say because I was too busy being scared shitless that I was going to be locked up, or kicked out of school, or thrown back into foster care!” I replied. “There, I told you! Are you happy?! ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY?!”  
  


Hamuko whimpered, taking a step back. “I...”  
  


“Get out of my room. Go fuck around with Junpei or something.” I said. She nodded, leaving. I could hear her crying as she went down the hallway.  
  


Fuck my life.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter One will be posted on or around April 1st, 2017.


End file.
